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I severely underestimated the toll of having been George’s caregiver.
I tried dating a couple of guys only a few months after his death. ” Haven’t we all heard this from well-intentioned people who are uncomfortable because we’re alone.This is a hard one because you might not know until you try.I tried dating a nice Jewish yogi lawyer (just like me) four months after losing George. Everything we did reminded me of something George and I had done or eaten or seen or hadn’t had the chance to do because his life had been cut short. I also had a lot of guilt over having been George’s caregiver.Trying to date before I’d processed George’s death caused unnecessary turmoil both for me and the guys I was seeing.I started “beta-dating” a few months after my loss, thinking I’d start practicing.
I hadn’t yet forgiven myself that he died on my watch. Until I resolved my own issues, I couldn’t be present for someone new because I was still living in the past.